Top 10 New (Proposed) Names for Bank of America

Face it, B. Money, Bank of America needs a facelift.

First it was those rotten mortgages. Then it was those rotten gang of top-secret-document-finding merrymen and merrywomen led by king whistle-blower Julian Assange. And now it's those rotten fourth quarter 2010 results.

If you don't do something quick, this mess could get a whole lot messier.

Of course, no American wants that (even those who, like yours truly, bank with one of your competitors). So, to avoid a further mess, what I've done is polled a few top advertising insiders (the geniuses behind the E*TRADE baby, dumb dudes drinking Bud, and talking chimpanzees, as well as the B-list cast members, creative advisors, and gaffers on Mad Men) and what they've given me is the list below: their top 10 ideas for a rebranding of Bank of America. I hope this helps!

10. Merrill Lynch of America

9. Bank of Merrill Lynch

8. Bull of America

7. Bank of Moynihan

6. Bank of the United States of America

6. Best Bank in America

5. Bank of North America

4. Bank of North, South & Central America

3. Bank of the Western Hemisphere

2. Bank of Amerigo Vespucci

1. Bank of Earth

(NYT)