Meet TIC, the New Bonus

Last Friday Bank of America announced in an internal memo (which it knew would certainly get picked up by news organizations across the country) that it would be increasing investment banking salaries at the expense of investment banking bonuses. To be exact, BofA didn't use the word "bonuses" but rather opted for the phrase "targeted incentive compensation." Of course, the phrase is way too long to utter again in this fast-paced Twitter age when you can simply say, type or text "TIC." More important, the use of TIC underlined (highlighted, bolded, ALL CAPPED, etc.) that "bonus," a five-letter word, has become a four-letter word, so expect other banks (on the brink of failure) to follow, adopting similarly non-bonus verbiage when referring to bonuses from here on out (another acronym comes to mind, if there are any PR or consulting execs out there: Y.E.P. as in year-end pay.)

In related news, in case you're one of the few who still believe that TICs and YEPs had nothing to do with the death of Wall Street, the Journal of the same name today reported on a study in which 98 percent of the participating banks conceded that TICs and YEPs were indeed part of the reason the words depression and repression have become part of your daily lexicon.

And just in ... in news that might have Pandit and Lewis a little less confident about keeping their top posts, President Obama, not long after forcing out GM's CEO Rick Wagoner, has issued an ultimatum to GM and Chrysler that might just end up knocking the Big Three down to the Big'un (Ford).

Speaking of Ford, the Motor City and Obama, although three of the president's four Final Four picks have been eliminated from the NCAA Tournament, North Carolina is still alive, and the Tarheels to win it all at Ford Field a week from today looks to be darn good bet (though, if I was putting down what's left of my 401(k), I'd put it on green: the Spartans, in their back yard, will be tough to beat).