Today, after the column went live, Goldman Sachs' board of directors called a double-secret emergency meeting on a bare beam thirty-four floors above ground inside the firm's still-in-construction new Manhattan headquarters (hardhats required) and deliberated for just four minutes and forty-four seconds, deciding to replace current chief Lloyd Not Doing So Blankfein with a man named Sidney Fincher, a relatively unknown financier with a penchant for wearing yak-fur hats and just a single wing tip.*
In other news, Bank of America is boosting headcount overseas, particularly in emerging markets, hoping to expand operations outside the U.S. and create a world banking power. Bobby McCann, the new head of UBS Wealth Management Americas, has given great green hope to his brokers by shaving support staff, forming a leaner and meaner money-making machine. And last but definitely not least, hedge fund manger$ killed it last year.
*For more fiction, check out these five credit-crunch-related novels, reviewed in the Times Online.
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