| Topic Name: |
Office Parties |
| Message Name: |
Co-worker leaving |
| Date Posted: |
07/07/2004 |
| In Reply To: |
I'm in a pickle here. I started with my company less than two months ago. I joined a smallish team and one co-worker in particular has been extremely unfriendly towards me. I took the initiative with this person to try to be friendly, and it was not reciprocated. Even though he appears corgial with the others on the team, I'm convinced that he has a problem with me. I've never broached the topic but suspect that he may resent the level that I was brought in at.
I decided to just forget about it, but now, I've found out this this person is leaving the company. I've been asked to contribute to buy a cake and gift for this person and honestly, do not feel that it is appropriate. We have no personal relationship whatsoever. We're not talking about big money, but don't want to take part because of the way that this person has acted towards me.
If someone asks him directly, how do I handle this without looking like I'm the unfriendly one?
I'd love to hear from people that have been in this situation.
Thanks in advance. |
| Message: |
It sounds to me as if this person ALREADY had a problem which was much larger than you seeing that they have decided to leave the work place.(I would say that much more is going on here than meets the eye). Now it all boils down to a case of, "Do I want to be true to myself or not, or do I want to contribute in an effort to make this person feel convicted over the way they have treated you?" It really is YOUR decision in the end, but chose wisely so that in the future you will look back and have NO regrets!. You can contribute towards this person's going away to look like the bigger man, or you can just call the situation like it is and bluntly recline on the basis of their ill treatment towards you. You can consider EVERY aspect of this situation such as how you will end up looking in the end etc. etc. but I would go with your gut instinct on this one only because you don't want to regret anything later on. I can sympathize with you because I have also endured this type of situation at work (I was pig in the middle btwn. 2 people who hated each other and never communicated)and it really ends up being a waste of time and energy and those doing the arguing etc. end up looking like the silly children that they are. As I look back after a period of many years it seems to me that they STILL have the words "STUPID" written on their foreheads, and no one wants to hire or promote that type of a person!.
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