| Topic Name: |
Verbally Abusive Coworker |
| Message Name: |
difficult people in control why the injustice |
| Date Posted: |
07/05/2004 |
| In Reply To: |
Please realize that this person who is your co-worker has the problem NOT you! Refuse to take the co-worker's problem on to yourself. See it for what it is and do NOT blame yourself for OTHER PEOPLE'S problems! If you need to confront this person or anyone else who is abusive let them know how you feel by saying something like this; "When you do such and such it makes me feel like such and such or I believe that this is not right etc." To confront use words like "I feel"or "I think" or "I believe" etc." This way you are getting the message across without being threatening to the other person. Basically this person is a control freak that actually exploded because they have some OTHER agenda when they get OFF work. Maybe it is a secret lover or something like this that they are in a rush to meet after work, or this person may have a drug problem of some sort. This anger is a symptom of a person who is out of control. I suggest two different books that may be of help to you- "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Goldhor Lerner PH.D and a spiritual type book called "Breaking Contolling Powers" by Roberts Liardon(most likely available at a christian/spiritual type book store). I hope this info will help you! |
| Message: |
I also face a verbally abusive coworker who is fresh out of school and was put to a management position due to coming from a good school but has no real world experience or understanding for the work at hand besides being able to play the talk card. There is an anger problem that the brunt of us faced at any unpredictable time, but it is hard for the boss to realize this anger problem and this employee's incompetency because this person is very fun aside when doing actual work.
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