| Topic Name: |
Verbally Abusive Coworker |
| Message Name: |
Ponder |
| Date Posted: |
06/09/2004 |
| In Reply To: |
I am a new hire and had to ask my coworker, who is handing over his project to me, a question. He didn't let me finish or get a word into the conversation, and then started screaming at me in front of our peers. He always wants to leave early, and today was no different. Having a question five minutes before his departure any other time is something I would normally save for the next day; however, this was an emergency and only something he would know---as a new employee, I would not.
When my shift ended, I went to my car and started crying. This is something I have never done, but I was so humiliated in front of my coworkers. As a new hire from a corporation into a government setting, I am having an already hard-enough time adjusting...advice on how to handle this? |
| Message: |
Word Diva:
I agree with amzahn in suggesting you allow a space of time and then approach your coworker with your desire to "start over." Unfortunately, jrdennis is correct intimating that we do not get to choose our coworkers in the government job sector.
Jrdennis is also correct in recommending you document the progress of your dealings with this person. Even without witnesses, your documentation can carry substantial weight should the situation escalate to a higher level involving supervisory personnel.
However, I do not agree with jrdennis when suggesting that you refuse to help the angry coworker if they should ask for and require your help. In fact, your agreement to help could turn things in a positive direction. There is an old proverb that counsels one to help an enemy in their time of need, and in so doing, remind them of the terrible way in which they treated you. The proverb goes on to suggest that many an enemy will become a friend as a result of your unwarranted kindness. Doing the right thing is sometimes harder than responding in kind to a hurtful experience.
In any case, ponder carefully your role in the job. Seek to fulfill that role to the best of your ability. Find ways to build your worth to your supervisor. Learn more about your job from 3rd-party resources. This will help you feel more secure about what you are doing.
There will always be the dissenter no matter how well you perform or how good your idea. A man once wrote a book titled "All You Can Do is All You Can Do." His second book was titled ""All You Can Do is All You Can Do and All You Can Do is Enough." You may find out if your HR department has reading materials on how to deal with angry or abusive coworkers.
Good Luck!
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