| Topic Name: |
In love with my coworker |
| Message Name: |
Go Slow... |
| Date Posted: |
04/23/2001 |
| In Reply To: |
What to do? We have worked closely together for 3 years and were a very successful team. I transferred to another division. I've been gone for a year. I have just recently realized I love him. We are over 40. Him? Single. Me? Unhappily married. |
| Message: |
What you write about so succinctly is the stuff that movies are made of. However, before you call up your ex-boss and say you want to chat about "old times", I'd recommend that you and your husband look into marriage counseling. You don't say why you are unhappily married (i.e., I assume that no spousal abuse is present), but it's always easier to get along with someone you work with--and then leave, both of you dressed in your best clothes and manners, to go home to someone that might be wearing a T-shirt that reads "Don't Mess with Me" (and hasn't shaved for a while). Try at first to see if your present relationship with your husband can be salvaged.
If it isn't or can't, then some people would say that you should call up your "ex-boss" now, while others might say you should hold off until you are separated. In any event, I wouldn't let your thoughts about your ex-boss trigger your marriage breakup, as you don't know how receptive he might be (although single, he might be involved with somebody else) and it is always harder to live with someone every day, week, and year, than it is to be with someone else in exciting circumstances during the day without anything else being on the line (such as joint financial decisions, rent or mortgage payments, in-laws, and the like).
Bottom line: I'd go slow on this one--at least, in the beginning. Good luck...and let us know what happens.
The Moderator
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