| Topic Name: |
Romance in the Air |
| Message Name: |
ty for hanky panky responses |
| Date Posted: |
09/18/2000 |
| In Reply To: |
Regarding "Encouraging Office Hanky Panky," I think Anonymous' advice has some merit: If spouses are invited, then that's one thing (although the 'singles' environment can still be troublesome to those who aren't). If they're not invited, then strength lies in numbers, as you mention that "I'm not the only wife concerned with this." Married employees could chat with the boss (but not making a big thing over it) that their spouses would love to come and that this would make it easier at home. Or their spouses could mention this (i.e., "I'd just love to come to one of those events") to that person at a company get-together, as there must be social events where partners are invited to, as well. Working individually on husbands (or wives, as the case may be) and staying coordinated as to who talks with whom is a very effective tool. Or all couples working together.
If this doesn't work, then it can make a difference, as to how large the company is. Bigger companies with chains-of-command and a pecking order have "bigger fish" that could be informally talked with who could recommend that this boss reign in some of his "singles instincts."
If able to attend, it can make a difference if you just don't want to go. In that case, you could select one or two of these events and go with your husband. Your husband (and the others similarly positioned) should be able to tell that boss that they have "family obligations" for the other times.
Notwithstanding this, happy hours and long lunches do freeze out spouses. If business is not being discussed, then the married workers certainly should be able to leave early and do their work at the office. Or go home. A universal complication is that married employees can learn to love these activities, whatever their reason for continually going (such as, "I've got to be a team player"). Your husband (and the others in his position) should respect their spouses wishes by mentioning this to that boss and simply curtailing fun times where business is not an issue.
Good luck,
Dennis Powers, Moderator
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| Message: |
Thank you for your thoughtful responses to my problem with the single boss and the extra-curricular activities!
The good news is that with the advice of neutral parties concurring with my opinions my husband is agreeing to curtail his part in these activities. He told his boss I was unhappy with it and his boss said that it would be fine if my husband did not attend. On occasion we will both attend a happy hour or a volleyball game...together!
The bad news is that his boss has no intentions of changing the activities to something more suitable (other groups just go bowling for employee day, etc.)or even to limiting the number of activities. He is having a great time with this and sees no reason to change. Oh well, nothing good will come of this and eventually a change will happen...unfortunately, probably not until someone gets hurt emotionally.
Thanks again for your responses...they were an eye opener for my husband.
Anonymous Wife
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