| Topic Name: |
aggressive bosses at social events |
| Message Name: |
Aggressive Bosses |
| Date Posted: |
03/07/2000 |
| In Reply To: |
How does one handle a supervisor who insists that an employee dance with him/her at a company-related event? In particular, I'm referring to a co-worker's wedding. (It's not as easy to say "No" as one might think.)
A few years back, I attended a co-worker's wedding. My female supervisor at the time turns to me and says, "Come on...let's dance." I politely decline, saying "I'm not really in the mood right now," but she doesn't listen. Instead, she drags me by the hand onto the dance floor (no mean feat, considering I'm a 6'2" 240 lb guy) and starts shaking it up.
I refrained from screaming at her or slapping her in the face (that's what a woman would do to any male who treated her in similar fashion), but tolerated one dance and avoided her at that event and attended no future events, including HER own wedding.
What should I have done after the fact? Complain to upper management about this boorish behavior? Figure that it's "off-hours" and if she wants to be obnoxious, she can? I only ask because it's hard to continually avoid company events, weddings, et cetera.
Yes, I did quit that place about a year later. No one should be treated this way in the meantime, however.
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| Message: |
Ignoring the almost hysterical tone of your post, many times at weddings people have a few drinks and are a bit more aggressive but pulling you on the dance floor is not tatamount to a punishable crime. You state that nothing happening since or did not post that she verbally or sexually abused you at the office and that you since left. After the fact, seriously, if you complain about a "forced" dance at a wedding I am afraid you would be looked upon with some concern. Your sexist tone of "I did not slap her face or scream at her as a woman would have done in the same situation" leads me to believe there is a deeper issue there. I suggest you leave this incident behind you and move on. If you cannot-see a therapist
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