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McK = no value added |
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a Finnish branch of the Lactiti? |
| Date Posted: |
02/02/2006 |
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Before we are too quick to joke at Laticus2??s expense, perhaps we should understand the tragic etymology behind his name. Laticus is derived from the early Greek name Lacticus. Lacticus was the half-brother of Spartacus and trained with him at the gladiator school owned by Lentulus, whose ancestors later went on to invent the soup of the same name. Lacticus was a great warrior; in fact, he would have been the better of Spartacus if not for his intolerance of dairy products, which doomed him to a life of eating only meat or steakticus, as it was known in 70 BC. The well-known aphorism, ??Steak, I will my life on it?? or as it has morphed over the centuries to ??I will stake my life on it?? has been attributed to Lacticus. It is well documented and considered somewhat of mystery that Lacticus could eat fifty pounds of steakticus and yet never gain a pound and in fact tended to lose weight even after months of beoff bingeing.
The sad tale of Lacticus became more poignant still in 73BC at the outset of the Third Servile War. Spartacus broke free with his army of rebellious slaves to challenge the Roman legions and create a future Oscar opportunity for Kirk Douglas. But sadly, Lacticus had to remain behind because the only food that could be carried with the army was a form of dry cheese to which Lacticus was intolerant. And, of course, we all know what that means in close military quarters.
Lacticus left his brother to wander in the Greek countryside, weeping and killing cows for food. It was during this time that he married a peasant girl Atkinsula. Their descendants thrived, lived long and prospered, creating for posterity among other things, the Adkins Diet.
And now you know, the REST of the story. good Day.
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see http://vgboy.bravehost.com/Script_and_Sprites/fawfulscriptrewrapped.txt
for more on Latikus2, a brilliant and sadly unknown literary phenomenom
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