| Topic Name: |
How do you deal with stress? Help? |
| Message Name: |
Approach |
| Date Posted: |
01/23/2002 |
| In Reply To: |
Thanks for the input DemiSec.
I like to consider myself a fairly logical and reasonable person. I know better than to jump the gun and start blasting away at the first sign of adversity or a bad experience. I've been through the mental exercise of "giving it time", "being patient", and "not being impulsive", etc.
Since I started a year ago, things have only gotten worse. My difficulties with my supervisor were somewhat validated when I found out a couple of my co-workers had a deep dislike for him as well. The difference is that I am on his project team and was specifically hired to be on his team.
I couldn't agree more when you suggest utilizing the work to my advantage by molding it into something that can develop my skills. Unfortunately this is hard to do with grunt work.
I am reluctant to bring up my difficulties with my direct supervisor to my manager. But I believe I have a legitimate gripe with the assignments that I've been given over the last year.
Luckily my office manager is a fair and respectable guy. He's not the easiest person to talk to but he has shown that he has integrity and I know he'll at least listen to me.
As this night wears on, I get more and more bitter. My supervisor should be here helping me with this work so that it would go twice as fast and we'd meet our deadline tomorrow, but of course he conveniently left at 5pm and he just had to remind me that I must stay all night to finish this work if that's what it takes to make the deadline tomorrow.
This isn't even my work, it was his assignment to begin with!!!
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| Message: |
Dear Weyman,
Having read your email and your reply to DemiSec I think you need to step back and review your approach to the issue.
I know it sounds easy but right now you are stressed, angry and bitter and these emotions are clouding all judgement.
DemiSec's advice is very good and very sound. Don't shoot it down so quickly. Unless you take this on board and do something about it then nothing will happen and you will stay in the same rut and become more depressed.
You need to write everything down clearly and objectively & bring this to the meeting with your manager to show you have put thought into this. Explain that you feel your skills are being wasted, that you have worked hard on what you consider grunt work in the hope that your efforts would be recognised and rewarded and that you would now like a commitment from them to develop your skillset.
Remember you must be objective and calm. If you treat this as a bitching session then you will lose ground and respect.
Also each person is different. Just because your coworkers dislike your supervisor doesn't mean your feelings are validated. Don't use this as an excuse to dislike him even more. Instead be mature and separate the emotion from the fact and deal with it as such.
We will never like everybody we meet. Leaving is a short term solution but what happens if you dislike your supervisor and your manager in your new company? Do you think any company will want to hire you if you tell them you left because you didn't like your boss?
My advice is hard but then reality can be.
So stop wallowing, take the bull by the horns and try to solve the situation in a mature and professional fashion. If that doesn't work then at least you have tried and you can then move on with a sense of self respect and you will have learned a little more about the working world.PS you should probably look at using more objective language in your meeting - gripe and grunt work will only get people's backs up!
Be strong & Good luck
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