| Topic Name: |
24 year old burnout |
| Message Name: |
Dr. Burnout |
| Date Posted: |
09/26/2001 |
| In Reply To: |
I know exactly how you feel. I too did everything right, went to a great school graduated with honors, I even did 4 internships while I was in college only to graduate and be laid off from my first job after only 3 months from a dotcom company that no longer exists. My current job looked promising at first but now I realize that my future here is very uncertain and I am not really doing what I want to do. HELP! I am so depressed. I am getting married to my college sweetheart and my feelings of burn out and hopelessness are starting to effect our relationship. I just don't understand it. I am such a hard worker plus I am enthusiastic, energetic, and willing to go the extra mile. What am I doing wrong??? |
| Message: |
Dear Sarah,
I've been in your position and although I don't claim to have all of the answers about what you're going through I might have a couple that will help. A lot of people our age are going through this type of period and I have found it helps to focus on the immediate priorities.
First, focus on the big priority in your life, keeping your relationship intact. I hate to say it but jobs come and go (ya, I know it sounds trite but bear with me). I think most people would concur with me when I say that throughout your life you'll have a lot of different jobs, but very few people you're willing to marry.
It sounds like your overloaded with both the upcoming marriage and dealing with a loss of purpose/drive in your job. A friend of mine recently went through the same situation and she found it was helpful to concentrate on one priority at a time. She decided to ride out her current job while working diligently on her wedding. I think a lot of people, including me, let their work define who they are and how they feel. If you can take a step back and think of the really important things in your life I think you'll find that your relationship is way more important than your job. I included a couple of suggestions that may help get you back on track.
To battle the job burnout I've heard some really good suggestions:
Take the mindset that this job is a means to an end. Don't focus on it being the only job you'll ever have.
Set definitive limits about the time you work (no weekends, few nights)
Talk to your college sweetheart and make sure he understands what you're going through and how to provide you with the support you need (us guys aren't very effective mind readers at times)
Spend time doing things you used to enjoy, preferably outdoor things and working out
Set simple, and easy to acheive goals for your wedding. This will help you regain a sense of direction and progress
Lastly, find a career coach that has seen burnout before and can help you work through it. I've seen people get overwhelmed and become too depressed to help themselves.
Be proactive.
I hope this helps! I'm more than willing to talk if you have more questions or just some thoughts.
Dr. Burnout
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