| Topic Name: |
Law School=Relationship Trouble...Do you agree? |
| Message Name: |
How to move on |
| Date Posted: |
05/03/2001 |
| In Reply To: |
I have read about half of the postings on this board. Some are good advice, and some are bad.
I have applied and been accepted to several law schools, so I will soon be doing the same grind you'll be going through. I respect the pain that you are obviously experiencing. And as a woman, I'd like to ask you to ignore all of those people who tell you to sleep around to get over your girlfriend. This is an unbelieveably stupid thing to do. A girl sure wouldn't be advised to do the same, and for good reason. Do you think its fair to trash someone else's feelings and take advantage of their bodies because your heart has been broken so badly? Would you want to be the man who was used because someone slept with you to get over someone else? Think about it!
As for your situation --I've always been afraid that something like that would happen to me. I am in a relationship now with the love of my life, and I know that if he were to leave me tomorrow or three months from now I"d be devastated. But this is why sometimes you have to go over this sort of scenario in your head to prepare yourself. Although I don't really see this happening, I know it can. Nothing is perfect, or forever. Sometimes love doesn't work out. I've had it happen. The key is not to bury your pain by screwing someone else over but to feel your hurt, grit your teeth and get on with your life. This is going to be a scar on your heart, but it's not going to stop it. You'll find another love. My advice: do what your grandmother would want you to do. Follow your dream. Continue to be an honest man. As commonplace as it sounds you will find someone else someday, and whether it works out or not you'll survive it. My condolences on both your losses.
God Bless You.
|
| Message: |
Hi, I agree with the guys who are saying to sleep with a lot of other women. You need to get your focus off of this woman and onto someone else. As soon as you do you will feel more empowered. If you??re honest, casual sex has nothing to do with "screwing over" someone else's feelings. Picking up girls in bars for one night stands is great if you can do it, but what would probably be an easier and more pleasant way to casual sex is to go out and get several girls numbers. This way you get to know them first which is better then sleeping with a perfect stranger. Call them up, talk to them, ask them what they're looking for, be clear to them what you're looking for. Find girls that are just looking for casual fling relationships. You can always find more women. Set it up to go to drinks or coffee with them (don't waste your money on them till you get laid). If you don't get them in bed the first night, invite them over for dinner a few days later. If there's any sexual spark there, this should do it. Remember you've got to be as physical as possible, touching their back or arm whenever possible, kissing them as soon as you can. Be upfront about what you're looking for and what you want, and just get with girls who are looking for the same. If you're honest with them, and construct a positive relationship, you don't hurt anyone's feelings. You can quickly build a harem of many women. You can have relationships with these women that aren't needy, aren't attached, aren't codependent, and ARE loving. Everyone needs to realize that the other person in a relationship does NOT complete them. Other people are merely there to share your completeness WITH. Anyway, once you find another girl you'll be over your ex in a jiffy.
Also if you're not exercising, I'd recommend you start doing some cardio (running, swimming, biking, etc) that will help you clear your head. You might also check out the book "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" by Peter McWilliams.
Love is often distorted in this world. People often say they love someone, but what they're really concerned about is merely "getting" something from the other person. That's not what love really is. When you really love someone it's not about what you get from them, it's simply you loving them. With real love you gain by giving. You loose nothing, and you sacrifice nothing by loving someone. You gain through your love for them. And you "get" nothing from them, so you can loose nothing if they leave you.
|
|
