| Topic Name: |
law school vs. family |
| Message Name: |
Where? |
| Date Posted: |
04/07/2001 |
| In Reply To: |
Hmmm...
I hardly know where to begin. I stood where you are now, and made the decision to attend the "dream school." It was a massive life style change, it has required an incredible amount of effort on my part-- and an equal effort on that of my spouse-- but I wouldn't change my decision for the world. I can't help you to make your decision, but I can offer you some things to think about.
We too had a "whole" life to worry about-- mortgage, cars, etc. --BUT, no kids. I'm not sure how old yours are, or how that will factor into the decision (more on that in a second).
Here's how we did it...
Preparation:
In the year before school began we worked like maniacs to become debt-free. We scrimped, we made double payments, we sold one car. We finally "cleared the board" of all but one car payment and the mortgage. We rented out the house(sometimes a real pain in the$%# b/c we are out of town, but we manage with the help of (local) family and friends), thereby keeping the tax advantages. We just cover the mortgage that way-- we aren't making any money on the deal-- but we didn't have to go through the whole upheaval of a sale. Pleasant? No... we loved our "life." Do-able? Yes.
Current Living Arrangements:
As to our present "lifestyle" (as it were), we live like destitute college kids. But, university married student housing helps enormously (a truly decent place to live, and about 20% less expensive than other local housing). The housing development is populated by other marrieds and "married with kids," and the presence of others in the same boat provides a sense of community and support which has helped ease the transition (especially for the non-student!!). My spouse works, but does not even come close to fully covering our expenses, so we have to take out about $10K a year in "additional" loans. I can't imagine trying to do this with no income whatsoever. Perhaps it can be done, but the thought of the loans required would send me over the edge.
Folks with kids:
Regarding the kids and the spouse-- a good buddy of mine, in a very similar position, does have kids (2, both under age 5). In order to make it work, his wife had to go to work. They (and several others I know of) arranged for her to get a job at the law school (admissions). The beauty of this set up is that the university has child care available, which means that he and his wife can pop in pretty regularly during the day, and arranging for pick-up drop-off etc. is do-able. They also get some sort of financial assistance from the law school to provide for the day care. The married student's housing development also has various play-groups etc. for the slightly older tots (I'm sure Boalt has similar programs available). Again, it ain't easy, but it can be done.
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| Message: |
Sounds like Stanford....is that where you attend?
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