| Topic Name: |
Touchy Issue |
| Message Name: |
Battle of the sexes |
| Date Posted: |
03/16/2005 |
| In Reply To: |
In two of my prior jobs I had women superiors (I'm male), either as a direct report or group head; in both cases the end result was that we could not get along. Even other co-workers and higher ups could not understand why. And always their tracks were covered with acceptable to good reviews of my peformance. Its just our personalities were incompatable.
I will be interviewing for a position where my direct report will be male but the group head is a woman. While the job seems right for me based on past negative experiences I am a little more than wary.
Before the women on this board label me a Neanderthal and misogynist, maybe someone male or female can offer some advice as to what to do and how to approach this. I have had great women co-workers and bosses but the few bad ones have left me "traumatized".
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| Message: |
Yazbro:
Fist - I'm female.
I had the same reaction as another poster. It felt like Deja Vu. Many years ago, I had a female manager and hated it. I don't know if she was normally hard or just had something to prove. Whatever it was, she was one of the most difficult managers I've worked for. But I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to personality. I most recently, again, reported to a female manager. I still have scars from her as well. I want to say that female managers are worse then male, but I have to say in spite of it, I just have to believe that there are good managers and bad managers, regardless of gender. In that last experience I was a supervisor with an all male staff reporting to me and found myself dealing with definate biases from them. Since I was also a technical lead, I found myself constantly being challenged and ganged up on at times, sometimes manipulated. I too am a 'straight shooter'. I'm forthright and request that others be the same with me. I think it's important that people have integrity and be up front with one another. I think my staff may have been confused, as women aren't normally 'up front' or straight forward. Rather we dance around something before getting to the point, as if this is a way to get what we need done. Drives me crazy when other women do this, because I'm so straight forward and see no need for it. I think men understand that, so they have a harder time with straight forward women. And defianetly I was dealing with some insecurity issues about having to report to e female. Again, I believe it's a matter of personalities and yes, preconceived biases.
I would love to tell you, "yea, female bosses are so much harder to work for than males." But I think I'd be doing myself and other women a diservice by leaving to that. My experience has shown that bad bosses know no gender, just as good bosses come in both sizes. I hope I'm right because, I, like you, am once again in the position of pondering a great opportunity, but report to a female. Maybe we both just need to trust and accept the possibility that the next one will be great. Best of luck to you. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
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