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What Can Companies Do about Cupid?

Published: Mar 10, 2009

 Workplace Issues       
Despite the opposing philosophies, bad press, and timid employers, Cupid has found a permanent place in the workplace home. From the smallest companies and extensive farms to the glassed-in skyscrapers and local police stations, work has become the place to find romance for millions of professionals each year. Surveys indicate that up to one-third of all relationships start in the office. And forget any "one nighter" assumptions-one half of these liaisons end up in a long-term commitment or marriage.

Companies, fretting over possible bad publicity and lawsuits, at times don't know which way to turn. The great majority of all organizations don't have a formal written policy covering office romances (choosing not to get caught in the middle), and nearly 90 percent don't even train their supervisors on how to manage one. Although most CEOs generally agree that affairs between discreet, unmarried couples (who don't report to one another) are none of the company's business, most of these same officers believe that these relationships expose the company to sexual harassment lawsuits (which aren't likely).

For the record, soured affairs result in a minuscule share of the sexual harassment charges actually brought, notwithstanding the widely publicized problems of a few. The EEOC's own statistics indicate that only 5 percent of the sexual harassment charges it investigates are due to a failed affair between a boss and subordinate-only a few thousand each year. A SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) survey reported that only 4 percent of the professionals surveyed said that sexual harassment claims from a failed workplace romance had led to litigation during the past five years at their organization. And the courts have unanimously held that an ended affair by itself isn't any indication of sexual harassment, even when involving reporting relationships. Cupid must somehow find a better press agent.

Unfortunately, some fearful organizations still punish any conduct that someone complains about (i.e., the romance ends and one tries to get back together), calling this harassment and gearing up their stages of complaint, investigation, and penalty. This makes no sense. Progressive companies don't employ such a climate of fear, choosing to use mediation instead to solve those sticky problems between employees and engendering instead a climate of mutual trust. They don't tolerate harassment either, but they do accept romance even with the problems, in turn receiving better worker morale and performance.

~But what about reporting relationships? Progressive companies manage them-they don't ban them. They strive to retain key employees by eliminating the objectionable features of the work relationship. For example, non-involved supervisors are appointed to handle the performance and compensation reviews of the subordinate. If problems do occur, lower-ranking workers are empowered to confidentially discuss them with a designated officer higher up the ladder than their boss. These organizations balance transferring one or both employees against simply changing responsibilities, even realigning work schedules. In the view of these firms, all of their workers deserve the very best. And they formalize their office romance policies in writing.

Well-run companies know how to manage this area quite effectively.

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