What Do the Jonas Brothers, Greg Allman and Goldman Sachs Ha

They're all subjects of cover stories in the current issue of Rolling Stone magazine.

According to the Goldman piece—which is part rant, part historical document, part conspiracy theory, and five pages too long—the investment bank known for killing it while its competitors bleed billions of dollars caused the Great Depression, the explosion of the tech bubble, the recent housing crisis, and oil to rise above four bucks a gallon. All for the sole purpose of cashing in, of course.

Goldman found the claims so outlandish that it responded to them today in the New York Post. Or perhaps Goldman just wanted to make sure you knew it made the cover of Rolling Stone.

Goldman's main foe but certainly no threat to its near rock god status, Morgan Stanley, was also in the news today. Morgan did not make headlines alongside any boy bands from Jersey or any ramblin' men, though it is apparently growing bigger in Japan.

Morgan's leader Johnny Mack told the Financial Times that his firm has partnered with Japan’s Mitsubishi UFJ Financial Group (which already owns a huge state in Morgan), deepening the bank's lending pockets in order to better compete for advisory assignments with the likes of JPMorgan, Goldman and others.