Earlier this week, it was revealed that the Swiss bank UBS issued a 44-page set of dress code rules and regulations along with several helpful hygiene- and wardrobe-related hints to its employees in a select few retail branches, making sure that its client-facing female employees, among other things, always wear a healthy amount of lipstick and eyeliner, hide their cleavage from customers and co-workers, and avoid miniature leather skirts that expose even a millimeter of their derrieres. The rules also stipulated that the bank's male employees do not wear mustaches, mustard-colored double-breasted suits, or short socks that expose their hairy ankles. Of course, after getting their hands on the code and translating it (the rules were written in French), thousands of bloggers and journalists (and those in between) salivated onto their keyboards and then scribed send-ups of the ridiculous set of rules and dressing hints. Today, UBS, feeling utterly humiliated or misunderstood (or, perhaps, both), formally responded to the press, releasing a memo that read, "The key element of the dress code is the requirement for staff to wear a dark suit, white shirt/blouse, red tie/scarf and black shoes." The memo also sought to amend several rules, including one requiring employees' underwear to be made from high-quality fabrics. According to the memo released today, "Underwear, for male and female UBS employees, is, of course, optional."