Sing It, Bernie

If you’re tired of Beyoncé telling you to “put a ring on it” every time your BFF calls, try this new tone for your phone in which Bernie Madoff tells you how “in this regulatory environment it’s virtually impossible to violate rules” while the eerie theme from the “Halloween” pictures play in the background. It’s the scariest voiceover since Vincent Price’s turn on MJ’s “Thriller.”

Also singing (the blues, that is) are several big wigs over at Bank of America who, it looks like, will be following their banking brethren at other top firms in not receiving any bonuses this year. BofA Kenny Lewis, the 2008 Banker of the Year according to American Banker, says his firm’s financials are looking mighty shaky (surprise surprise) and that extra checks won’t be able to be cut for the big guys.

Speaking of big guys, a day after the head of Merrill Lynch’s brokerage unit Bob McCann split, a successor was named: Dan Sontag, a three-decade Merrill man, will be taking his place.