Inside Trader Asks For Forgiveness While Flipping Cheeseburg

by Derek Loosvelt | April 18, 2011

I'm unsure if The Wall Street Journal is trying to humanize accused and admitted inside trader Kenneth T. Robinson by focusing on his cheeseburger grilling prowess during his confession, or if the paper is trying to give him some free advertising -- that is, alerting upstate correctional institutions to the fact that Kenny is a helluva short order cook and so please keep any job opportunities in the slammer kitchen open until his sentencing this summer.

burger king on streetEither way, Robinson (pictured at left, on his way to a Manhattan federal court) does dish out some more dirt surrounding the juicy insider trading case involving ex-trader/ex-big spender Garrett Bauer and ex-big-swinging-lawyer Matthew Kluger (who also happens to be the son of the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Ashes to Ashes: America's Hundred Year Cigarette War, the Public Health, and the Unabashed Triumph of Philip Morris).

In addition, Robinson expresses regret for not getting out of the scheme sooner (which, of course, is what all criminals say after the Feds bust in with automatic rifles, screaming, "Get on the floor you &^#@"), calls himself "stupid," and sincerely hopes that other people don't think of him as a "monster" (to which I say, "Don't worry, Kenny. We just think you're stupid. And are a big-time ar$e.").

Currently, Kenny is out on bond, facing five to seven years of hard flamebroiling.

(WSJ: The Confessions of an Inside Trader)

(Related: This Week in Insider Trading)

Filed Under: Finance


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