Goldman's Got Guns, BofA Has Tiger's Back

Since they are hated worldwide for making monstrous amounts of dough while the rest of us endure pay cuts and job cuts and cheap haircuts, Goldman’s bankers are now packing heat. Yes, real, live rounds—also known as bullets.*

Meanwhile, down on the Bank of America ranch, still no one can be convinced to take that job as CEO. However, the good ole boys down south have Tiger’s back—no matter what he did to deserve that club through the driver side window.

Speaking of Kenny’s campers, in case you missed it, his highest-ranking ones can’t be too happy after this: Thanks to the other Kenny (pay czar Feinberg), BofA’s CFO and head of its mortgage unit will be taking severe pay cuts in 2009, from $800,000 to a measly half a million.

*To read up more on why Goldmanites need their Magnums and Saturday Night Specials, check out this piece from the current issue of Vanity Fair in which Lloyd I’m Not Firing Blankfein speaks about how his holy company is here for one reason (well, in addition to doing the lord’s work): to help its fellow Americans.

AP Photo/Richard Ruggieri