But when you take notes, you are busy looking down at the paper and writing down what everyone else says. As a result, you don't get to participate in the discussion as much. At review time, your manager won't recall hearing you speak in meetings, forgetting that he asked you to take notes. He'll have the impression that you are timid (playing right into another common stereotype of women). Furthermore, if you are writing madly in a future meeting that includes a client or a senior executive, you lose the opportunity to interact with and impress an important person. You may even be mistaken for a secretary yourself.

If you are the most junior person on the team, you may have to take notes until someone new is hired. If you are not the most junior person, get a reality check from a trusted peer or manager in the office who is removed from the situation at hand. "I want to ask your opinion because I'm not sure if I am being too sensitive. Who takes notes in your meetings?"

The cyclical nature of stereotyping comes from the fact that the more you do something, the better you become at it than everyone else, so then everyone wants you to continue doing it. After several meetings of being the note-taker, you learn to outline exactly how your boss likes it, type everything up with graphs and charts inserted and distribute to the group quickly. Of course everyone will want you to keep doing it because no one else does it as well. But continuing the role compromises your professional development, self-respect and the respect of your peers, even if it is gradual and unintentional.

Talk to your manager directly, but avoid any suggestion that the offense was intentional (even if you suspect it was). Address the professional rationale behind your request and your proposed solutions. "I don't want to always be the note taker because it prevents me from participating in the discussion in a meaningful way. The issues are so interesting I'd like to share my thoughts next time. Let's rotate the responsibility, or bring a secretary into the meeting to take the notes."

Be prepared to be brushed off as being hypersensitive. "Uh oh, you're not a militant feminist are you? You are way too sensitive!" Don't back down when faced with such resistance. Stand your ground, and calmly respond. "I know it's easy for you to jump to that conclusion, but humor me, and let's rotate the responsibility. I really would like to join in the conversation next time, and I think I have proposed fair solutions." Just make sure you don't clam up in the next meeting!